Fortune cookies
by FlorGon
Summary: *Complete* Japril story after 14x24. Despite all her previous successful projects, April wasn't feeling so good about herself and then a job opportunity hits at her door. Meanwhile Harriet was plotting something. Who was helping her?
1. Chapter 1 – Kintsukurui

**Chapter 1 – Kintsukurui**

Everything started when Harriet quoted Socrates. No, my bad, it started before with a stalker and his lawyer.

We were spending a perfect week in the farm with Harriet but it was ending. We had to go back to Seattle. Harriet was staying with his dad and I was going to New York. The farm did me so well. When I was alone in the city, I felt frustrated all the time. That's probably why I had been trying to find something to work on, trying to find a purpose in my life. Here instead I could be watching the sunset with my daughter, feeling fulfilled. Nature is just so overwhelming, what else could you possibly need?

Dad came and told me someone was there for me. I wasn't expecting anyone. I don't know why but I thought it was Owen.

When I entered the house, I was a mess. I have been working all day with Harriet. I didn't recognize the guest. A handsome man in a suit. I introduced myself.

"I'm April Kepner. Were you looking for me? I don't think we had met before."

I didn't know what he was doing there so when he introduced himself and told me he was a lawyer, I was more and more clueless.

He told me he was there in name of an anonymous donor who wanted to give me a fund to manage, for medical research. As soon as he told me, I didn't let him continue and interrupted him.

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Why me? Who is he? How'd you find me? Anyways, I don't deal with anonymous donors, I had a bad experience before and I feel I'm being tricked. I need to know whose money it is," I said.

"My client was afraid you'll say that. My client had followed your work with the trauma training program for the military…"

"In that case, he should contact Dr. Owen Hunt, Dr. Megan Hunt and Dr. Riggs. They are currently running the program."

"Yes, I know. You're still in charge of the network of trauma surgeons for catastrophe's situations and the foldable O.R. project for emergency's situation is now run by Engineer Sterling. Dr. Altman and Dr. Torres now run the O'Malley Center for those injured in war where veterans and refugees get free attention. I know you had worked on all these projects and you left after they were working fully. That's what my client wants you to do with this fund for OI research," he said.

I believed he was talking to the wrong person until he mentioned OI. It couldn't be a coincidence. I was intrigued.

"It's your client some kind of stalker? Here, this is my lawyer's card. You can talk to her and if everything adds up to her, I'll consider it," I said.

After the guest left, I went to find Harriet. She and dad were taking care of the pigs.

"Did you know your mom did exactly the same thing?" my dad was asking Harriet.

"What did I do?"

"You name a pig after dad?" Harriet asked.

Harriet and I had just returned to Seattle after visiting my family. I left her at Jackson's apartment and went home. As I entered the house I thought in the appointment that I had with my psychologist. I have been trying many things, Yoga classes, Mindfulness, therapy and so on. I was always finding ways to be useful, to be occupied, and to be doing something. Everything but being alone with myself felling empty.

I didn't expend a lot of time here so it didn't feel like home at all. I've already had a plan to leave again. I was going to New York to visit Arizona and her family. Now I had a project for Arizona and Dr. Herman, or so I thought.

I was on the plane thinking about the conversation I just had on the phone with Harriet. I couldn't believe she's already turned eight. At the same time, I couldn't believe she was just eight years old. She had just quoted me Socrates. Socrates!

Did she forget I was the mother and she was the daughter? However, it was our fault. Jackson and I had given her enough material for her to turn into a psychologist.

" _Why are you surprised that traveling does you no good, when you travel in your own company? The thing that weighs on your mind is the same as what drove you from home."_

That was the quote. My psychologist would be proud of her.

She called me to ask for my recipe, my magic soup so that she could cook it for Jackson.

"He's not feeling well, but of course he won't admit it. When I told him he should stay home, he brought up the fact that I'm eight years old and he is a doctor. Can you believe it?" she asked.

I couldn't believe she wasn't a tiny human anymore but this tiny adult. When did she grow up?

"I believe more in your medical judgment, honey. He only takes days off for fun not because he needs them," I said.

Arizona was waiting for me at the airport. While we were going to the Robbins-Herman Center for Women's Health, we had our talk about parenting.

"You know Sofia set us up to get back together. I wouldn't be surprised if Harriet wants her parents to be together," Arizona said.

"Maybe. I don't know. I thought it would be different with Harriet, because she wouldn't miss us together, considering we were already divorced when she was born."

The Center was impressive, it wasn't the first time I visited it. I was so proud of my friend.

"I don't know if I've told you this enough but you're amazing," I told Arizona.

"You do. You're the most supportive friend anyone can wish for and you're the most amazing human being yourself, always finding new ways to help. You never stop. The alias they gave you at the Army was right on spot. You're The Machine. I just wish you'd put yourself first sometimes," she said.

"That's your way of saying you want me to find someone that makes me as happy as Callie makes you?" I asked.

"Pretty much. It's time you move on."

"I had moved on, remember? I married Matthew," I said and we laughed.

"You shouldn't joke with that," Arizona said.

"I know. I'm gonna rot in hell. Meredith hasn't had anything serious after Derek and if I remember correctly, you weren't pretty encouraging with Nathan back then. You told him that Derek was epic, that they were the great love story and that it never occurred to you that she would be with someone else," I said.

"That's not fair. Derek died. Jackson can't be your great love story if you weren't his."

"I'm over Jackson. I hurt him and he couldn't forgive me even though I begged him, I tried my best but he couldn't love me back and he ended up hurting me. That was it for us. He loved Maggie, not me. I don't want him. Our friendship is over because of it. I couldn't forgive him just as he couldn't forgive me."

"Yes, but you're young and beautiful and you deserve your great love story," she said.

"Please?! Think about it. It doesn't get more epic than someone standing up at your wedding and ending dating his step-sister after your divorce, while you end marrying the person you left at the altar. Really, if I heard the story on a talk show I wouldn't buy it, no matter how great at acting they could be. I would pity them because their job sucks. People watching could only laugh at it because… come on! How in hell did that happen?"

"And you're forgetting something, that the person you married had just two months ago became widowed. People will be asking themselves if the people working on the show are on drugs. Are you sure you are on good terms with God?" she asked me.

"You're so funny but yes, I'm on good terms with Him but clearly I'm not on good terms with myself. You can ask Harriet about it."

We laughed so much. Something was odd with Arizona, I couldn't quite tell what…

"But what we just described wasn't an epic love story. It was an epic failure. I just want you to be happy again. I guessed I want you to have what I have cause I love you and because ours love stories somehow looked a lot alike. We both hurt our loved ones, we tried to fix it but we couldn't and then perfect Penny and perfect Maggie happened and all seemed lost. I found love again and you should too," Arizona said.

Ok. Something was certainly wrong.

"You know that in that scenario I would end up with Jackson? I made the same mistake twice with Matthew. It's not going to happened twice with Jackson, I don't love him anymore," I said.

Arizona was gonna say something but she didn't.

"We should add the best friend with similar love story to the talk-show. The more unreal the better," Arizona said.

We were laughing again when I got a call from Harriet.

"Do you remember Lucy?" Harriet asked me.

Of course, I remembered. Lucy was our family dog at the farm. We had to put it to rest when the vet told us there was nothing we could do to improve its health. Arizona was texting as we spoke.

"Yeah, honey," I said.

"I think we should put dad to rest," Harriet said.

I didn't think laughing was the right answer to that. I just couldn't help it. How did she come up with these ideas? I didn't know.

"It doesn't work that way with humans, you know. Is he that bad? Isn't Aunt Maggie around? Do you want me to call Catherine or Richard?" I asked Harriet.

When I hung up the phone, Arizona was looking at me with a funny face.

"I know she want us back. Does it ever gets easier?" I asked Arizona.

"No, it doesn't. They get smarter and smarter until they are smarter than you are."

I hadn't told Arizona about the project yet. I didn't know why but I was feeling that Harriet wasn't the only one pushing me back to Jackson.

"It's nothing really, but what brought me here, to you, it's a… I don't know if this is the proper way to call him but it's a secret admirer," I said.

"What? Tell me. Tell me!" she said.

It was a little over the top, even for her. Did she know?

"A lawyer came to visit me at the farm to offer me someone's money for OI research and I thought that if I'm doing it, I'm doing it with you. This lawyer was so hot! The good news is that I probably will have to see him again because of this project. So who knows, maybe this leads to my great love story."

She made a face, as if she was trying to figure out if I was being serious.

"So, are you up to the project? If it's not the right time for you, I can delay it or just tell them to find someone else. I'm in it with you or I'm not in it at all," I told her.

"I think you should talk with Jackson."

I didn't know where that came from.

"What for?" I asked.

"I'm in, whenever you want me for your project, but I think you should finally get a closure with Jackson. You should talk to him like you talk to me. He used to be your friend and now you only share Harriet. You two need to get your shit together."

"He stopped talking to me like he used to do and somewhere along the way I stopped too. When we were breaking apart, what it was important for me to hear from him, was not was he was up to speak. Later, when we were just co-parenting, what he was willing to speak with me started to mean nothing to me. It felt so empty, so meaningless. It made me feel mean and an ugly person. Probably, cause I'm," I said.

"Don't say that. You were just feeling broken."

I called Catherine to go check on Harriet and Jackson and I booked a ticket to Seattle. I spent a beautiful time at Arizona's. Sofia was growing so fast and we caught up with Callie. Somehow, every time I was about to board a plane, people found profound subjects to make me think. First, it was Harriet with Socrates and now it was Callie.

"When you feel broken, remember this word: Kintsukuroi. It's the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold or silver. The flaw is part of the object's history and it is precisely that what makes it beautiful," Callie said out of the blue. We were talking about her job and when we heard it was boarding time, she said that.

I stared at her while she said goodbye and walked away. It couldn't be a coincidence, right? The OI research opportunity from an anonymous donor and people around me behaving like fortune cookies.

Hours later, I was ringing at Jackson's apartment and I didn't know what to expect. Harriet, Arizona and Callie were up to something and they left me out. Was Jackson a part of this plan or he was unaware of what our daughter was plotting.


	2. Chapter 2 – Humidity

**Chapter 2 – Humidity**

As soon as I entered the building my breathing change. It reminded me of the day I married Matthew, suddenly it was very clear it was a mistake. I was in the car when it hit me. I was feeling sick, trapped. The car seemed so little. Somehow, it seemed to me that there wasn't enough air in the car for both of us. I was hyperventilating. I was about to ask Matthew to stop the car when he suddenly stopped. As soon as he stopped, I got out of the car trying to catch a breath of fresh air and suddenly everything became clear. My sense sharpened and my mind focused. There had been an accident, that's why Matthew stopped. We called for help and helped every way we could. It was a mess. The road had collapsed, I didn't know how. After the panic attack I was having in the car, in the road, helping the injured ones, I knew who I was. I was a trauma surgeon, a soldier. It made me felt alive and meaningful.

Later, when I was in an ambulance ready to go with a patient to the hospital, Matthew appeared and told me that we should annul the marriage. He didn't love me either. At least this time, I wasn't the one to leave him. We understood how we were feeling, because both of us had lost the love of our life. Karin died and Jackson felt in love with his stepsister. It was not the same. While I was going to the hospital, I called Jackson and Arizona just to be sure they were fine, they had left the wedding spot before us. And thankfully, they were. When the day was over, I was single and without a job. However, the accident that left so many people hurt and many deaths, allowed me to do my job as a trauma surgeon in the hospital. It was that which leaded me to create the network for trauma surgeons and that project lead me to the one about O.R., because in cases like this having enough surgeons is not enough. So that was how I got busy after I made the mistake of my life.

The door of Jackson's apartment was opened and before I went in, I got a message from Catherine. She had just left the building with Harriet and they were going to a fundraising in Portland. She dared to tell me to take care of Jackson and that she was going to take care of Harriet. I had a better idea; she could take care of her son while I took care of my daughter. The thing was she wasn't answering my calls. I was furious. I left a lot of unkind messages in her voicemail. I wasn't a nanny and neither a nurse. I was a surgeon and Jackson wasn't needing a surgery.

I had never been in his new apartment. I was opening doors randomly until I found Jackson sleeping in his bed. I wished I could say that I didn't feel anything, being this close to him, in his apartment, after so long, for no special reason. We saw each other time to time, for Harriet's birthday, some school's meetings and events. In those occasions, we were in the same place, but we felt so distant. This time, I was actually approaching him, getting closer, putting myself in a situation where I could be hurt again. That was why it felt so different because I was being vulnerable.

I found antibiotics and a note by Catherine with the time when he took the last pill. I touched his forehead and he was boiling. It was not a lie. He wasn't part of a complot of any kind. He was sick. I tried to get him out of bed to make him take a shower but he wasn't helping and I couldn't lift him so I used cold compresses.

I couldn't stand to be just looking at him. I opened windows to ventilate and I did some chores while changing the compresses. The kitchen was a mess. I found traces of what I supposed was the doing of Harriet trying to make my soup.

Next time I was checking on Jackson, his eyes were opened so I tried again to take him to the shower. While we were struggling to stand him up, he said "I love you" so without thinking I let go of my hands and he landed on the floor. How dare him? Unless he didn't end the sentence with Maggie. It wasn't good, my anger was growing so much. I let him in the floor, covered him with some sheets, put a compress in his forehead, took the keys and left the apartment. I was anxious, hurting and furious and there was no one to blame except myself. I walked around the block and returned to the apartment. I couldn't left him while he was ill. Where the hell was Maggie?

When I returned he was sitting in the sofa covered in sheets, trembling. He was better. I gave him water and an ibuprofen. He was looking at me as if I were some kind of apparition. This time he was smart enough not to say anything, or maybe he was just feeling as shit.

"It is me. You're not hallucinating," I said.

While he was resting on the sofa, I changed the sheets from his bed. I checked his temperature and the fever was gone. I left for a while to do some shopping for later. I made my magic soup, my spicy hot soup.

"Thank you for taking care of me. I have to ask, did I call you while I had a fever? How did you end up here?" Jackson asked.

"I wish I knew. I'm not sure who to blame. Harriet and Catherine are the main suspects. I don't know what they have to do in all of this but Arizona and Callie are suspects too," I said.

"That's kind of messy. I don't know if I want to know what's going on."

"Yes, it's better for you to rest and get better, before Harriet has actually a chance to put you to rest. Do you need anything else before I leave?"

"No, I don't want to bother you more. You clearly didn't want to be here. Thank you again."

"This is not my place to be, that's all. Where is Maggie?"

"Maggie? She's covering for me in the clinic. I asked her," he said.

My face must had said it all.

"It's a clinic for people without insurance. It's not a hospital but we are trying to get everyone the care they deserve, even if it's not in the clinic. I work there two days a week. It gets busy. I couldn't go today so I asked Maggie."

I was astonished. We once were so close and now… I didn't knew what he was working on.

"Jackson Avery spending his time for those in need."

I tried to sound funny but the thing was everything about it was hurting me.

"I see you're better now," I said.

Better without me.

"That's cause you have been taking care of me," Jackson said.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

"Ok. I´m leaving. Get better!" I said.

"Wait!" he said as he grabbed my hand. He dared to stop me. I felt the electricity traveling through my bones. Will this ever stop?

"What?" I asked.

"Why do you have to leave when we are finally having an actual conversation?"

"It's my fault for coming here. I don't regret it. I was being helpful but we are not friends anymore."

"What did I do? Can't we be friends once more? I missed you," he said.

"It's not your fault. It's mine. You know how when you have hurt your bones, humidity will cause pain in your wound? Well, you're humidity to me. There's nothing wrong with you. You didn't do anything. But when I get close to you my wounds hurt. I wished they didn't, but they do. I wish you all the happiness in the world, but as selfish as it may be, I just don't want you to share it with me. You being happy without me, makes me think in our happy bubble as something fake, as a lie. I know it's not that way. I understand that just because you love someone else now, I doesn't mean that you never loved me. I believed you were the one, my great love story, and you loving someone else makes me think we were a mistake. Even though I know you don't regret it just as I don't regret it. I can't help it. I tried to be better than this. We were happy once, I guess I haven't accepted the fact that that's lost forever."

Oh God! I was crying!

"I get close to you and I became this mess. I'm fine in a dryer weather. You make me fell the worst person in the world, you remove all the dirt inside me and make me face it. I don't like it at all. You don't want to be my friend, you deserve friends that want you to share your happiness with them. So do me a favor and don't bring this up anymore. I have accepted in my own pity way the fact that our relationship is over. It should be easier for you to accept that our friendship is over too," I said.

"I can't accept it. Please, let's talk this out," he said.

"You' re not understanding me! Maybe you can relate to this. That's how it felt when you decided to divorce, right? I made your wounds hurt and it was painful to be with me. If I could respect your decision back then, you can now respect my decision. This is what I want."

There was a time I believed that even if something seemed like it couldn't be fixed, it didn't mean that it was broken. But if someone were to tell me now that we were to be fixed, I would have laughed at them.


	3. Chapter 3 – Red thread of fate

**Chapter 3 – Red thread of fate**

It didn't went as I expected. I have been concealing all this feelings for so long, believing they made me ugly, believing I should be ashamed of my feelings, thinking that sharing them would humiliate me and would make me more miserable. Well, it didn't. It was liberating and therapeutic. Just like when you feel sick of your stomach and you don't want to throw up, but after throwing up you start to feel so much better, because you let go what was making you feel sick. I was letting go everything that once hurt me, without having to hurt anyone on the process. I took a lot of weight off my shoulders. I was making amends with myself without knowing it. I felt free and it was amazing. It took me so long, but it was so worth it. I regained confidence in myself. I was loving myself more than ever. It was everything that I needed. I wouldn't know how to put in words the happiness I was feeling. Suddenly I wanted to go write a self-help book and share my experience with anyone I could. There was a way out from all that pain and I found it. I wasn't crying anymore. Everything felt so much clear.

"I'm sorry," Jackson said.

"Don't be, you didn't do anything wrong. Except maybe Montana. You should have known better. I don't regret what happened, it helped me face the fact that I needed to move out."

"I won't apologize for Montana, I regret what happened after. I should have talked to you about my feelings. I should have tried to work us out. I should have stopped you when you said you were moving out. I should have been there more for you when you were facing your crisis of faith. I should have told you how much I loved you and how I wouldn't know how to breath if I had lost you that horrible day. I should have tried to stop you before your wedding. That's what I did wrong, that's what I'm sorry for."

I almost lost myself in his watery blue eyes. Damn! I almost fall for it. I touched his forehead.

"Maybe I'm feverish, but I'm feeling good. I haven't felt this good in a long time," he said.

He didn't have a temperature. My mind must be playing me games.

"Look, I think we should call Amelia, maybe you hit hard the floor when I was trying to get you out of your bed," I said.

"I haven't been better in a long time, don't take me for crazy. Maybe I was crazy before when I left you, but now…"

"You are feeling great, right? Take it all out. Say everything you need to feel free from that grief."

Now he was looking at me as if I was the one with mental health issues or maybe as if he was hallucinating. I touched his forehead again.

"I thought you were feeling better…" I said.

And before I knew what was going on, he was kissing me and my body was moving on its own. It felt so good. How much did I miss this! He stopped. Why would he stop? I opened my eyes and he was just staring at me. At first, I thought he was feeling like this was all in his imagination again, but then it hit me. He was somehow expecting my permission. Like he would ever need it. I put my arms around his neck and he helped me up. I desired this so much and I saw in his eyes that it was mutual. It was like Montana all over again, and maybe that should have made me back off but my fears were not to beat me again. In this battle, love was always going to win.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked.

"I want it all, the whole damn thing."

So I let my guard down and enjoyed every second of it. And it felt like yesterday, like the first time, like the last time. We were beyond time. We were above it all. If I was to be connected by the red thread of fate to someone, he was the one. The cord may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. Funny how now it was me the one behaving like a fortune cookie.


	4. Chapter 4 – Where we belong

**Chapter 4 – Where we belong**

Next morning I woke up when Jackson's cellphone rang because of a message. It was from Maggie. I didn't read it. Somehow I forgot about Maggie and I was starting to feel nervous. When I turned towards Jackson, he was looking at me with those eyes that would melt anyone.

"How are you?" Jackson asked.

"You know that the one that was sick is you, right? …I don't know how I'm. How do you feel?"

"I'm so much better. Perfect, actually."

"What about Maggie?"

"What about her?"

"She sent you a message."

He checked his cellphone.

"Should we take a bath?" he asked.

He definitely was feeling better.

"What happened with Maggie?" I asked.

"The message? She was telling me how it went yesterday at the clinic and asking if I'm better."

This was bad. This was the lower I had fallen. I started to pick my clothes.

"Is she coming?" I asked.

"No, she didn't say that."

I was getting angry and my face must have said it all.

"Why would you? Oh… I see… You know Maggie and I broke up like 4 years ago, don't you? I'm currently single, if you're interested."

I didn't knew that. I guessed that explained why Harriet call her auntie.

"You are a fool," I said.

He was getting closer.

"Should we take that bath?" he insisted.

…

After the bath, we spoke for hours catching up on what had been of our lives.

"This past few days had been really strange. A lawyer came to visit me at the farm, and asked me to run a fund from an anonymous donor for OI research. Was it you again, the anonymous donor?" I asked.

"No. Mom offered me an advance on inheritance. I didn't want it and as we had put aside money for Harriet, I thought we could use it for kids who had OI like Samuel. I thought it was the right thing to do. So I suggested Catherine to use the money for that and of course we thought of you. And in case you wouldn't say yes to us, the anonymous donor came to our minds. So you see, it was Catherine's money."

"Aha! I see. You had everything to do about it. What about Callie and Arizona?"

I told him why I suspected something odd was going on. He did the simplest thing and called them to ask them what they knew.

They told him we should speak with Catherine. But before he hanged up they asked if we were together again, although that weren't exactly their choice of words.

So, we called Catherine and Harriet answered the call.

"Hi! Is mom also there? Did you fixed it? Are you together again? I'm staying with Catherine for a week. We're going to Disney!" Harriet said.

"Hi honey! Is it ok? Can I take her?" Catherine asked.

"You could be a little more worried about your son who is ill," Jackson said.

"I see what you mean. But we left you in the best hands. Also I called Miranda and told her you were sick and needed a week off work. Am I not the best mom? You can thank me for the rest of your life," Catherine said and she laughed.

"I don't need a week off. I'm feeling better. What's wrong with you?" Jackson asked.

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm sending you an address and a contact from a home in Incline Village. Harriet picked it, I'm sure you two will love it. It was her idea to pick Lake Tahoe, she says next time she wants to go with the two of you. Also, she wants me to tell you that she won't forgive you if you marry without her and what?"

"I want a brother," Harriet said.

"So this was all your plan from the beginning?" Jackson asked.

"Yes and you know how to thank me. Bye-bye!"

Harriet hanged the phone.

"Did we create a monster?" I asked.

Jackson got the message from Catherine.

"We can get to lake Tahoe in 13 hours," he said.

…

Our daughter was controlling our life. We went there. I must said she picked the best place ever. It had a deck with the best view and access to a private beach. I guessed we could forgive them. After all, we spent the most amazing time there.

I couldn't believe we were taking the same steps all over again, driving all the way to Lake Tahoe, being back together, getting married. I guessed Harriet would forgive us too. After all, she was going to have the brother she wanted.


	5. Chapter 5 - The honeymoon

**Chapter 5 – The honeymoon**

The road trip was just like last time. We made the same stops in the way, and luckily, even if it wasn't exactly the same, all these years later, the different places we had visited were still there. For instance, we bought burgers and fries at the same spot and we ate in the car like last time.

When we arrived at the house, Jackson picked me in his arms as if we were newly wedded. The amazing thing about it all, it was that we left the past behind us. We were starting anew. Even though we couldn't help but remember what we experienced the last time we did this, we weren't lamenting what we did or what we didn't do and not just about the wedding but everything that happened after. Whatever leaded us to this perfect state we made it worth it. The only thing that mattered was our perfect present. Or so I thought.

We spent the first hours checking every room of the house and the place was like a dream. The outside was even better. It was a paradise.

Before unpacking, we took the cups and the champagne that was waiting for us in the living room, and all the snacks that we had bought on the road and we took the party outside.

It was a beautiful day; the sun was brightening over us. Catherine sent us a photo of Harriet with the Little Mermaid and another one with the three of them; Richard had joined them in Disneyland. In return, we sent a selfie of us with the beautiful landscape on the back.

Later, Jackson stayed unpacking while I went to buy groceries for the following days.

While I was shopping, I called Arizona. Everything felt like a dream and talking about it with my friend made it feel more real.

"I'm happy for you two. You two deserve to be happy. And don't take it bad and send me to hell but please, this time don't hurt him," Arizona said.

Her words hit me like a bucket of cold water. I wished that it didn't hurt my feelings but it kinda did.

"April. Are you there? Are you mad?" she asked.

"Sorry, it's just that I wasn't expecting that. I'm not mad. If we can't be honest with each other telling the true even when it hurts, we shouldn't be friends, right? I just want to know what do you mean."

So, we continued talking and she explained herself. Our friendship can survive anything. And of course it did. I loved that we could talk about anything and be honest even if we were saying something we knew the other one didn't want to hear but we thought it was for the other person sake's. Nevertheless, just because what she said was true, it felt like I was walking on a stone, so I couldn't let go of it that easy. I needed to talk it out with Jackson cause I couldn't concentrate on anything else.

After shopping, I went back just to find him sleeping. He must had fallen asleep while waiting for me on the couch. I really had a lot to tell him and he was there sleeping. I tried to behave like a loving person and let him sleep. But of course there was so much going on my mind that I couldn't sleep. I tried being busy putting everything I had just bought in place and tidying up everything. I tried to sleep upstairs in the room but I was just spinning around in bed. So, as I couldn't sleep, with no reserves about what time it was, I decided to make arrangements for the next days.

After a few hours of sleep, Jackson woke me up with breakfast in bed. For a moment I could only think how lucky we were having a second chance. Then I remembered I was supposed to be kind of angry. So while we were having breakfast in bed, I started a discussion with him. It was like we were pretending to be fighting but we were just having fun, making faces and gesticulating.

"Jackson, I need to ask you something. Not like this was a competition or anything but, who do you think fell in love first?"

"I felt in love first," he answered.

"No, you didn't. I kissed you first."

"You kissed me first but I have been in love for you forever. Maybe it wasn't easy for me to admit it, but even before that, I cared for you not just as a friend. It just didn't seem like a thing that would happen."

"What wouldn't happen?"

"You falling for someone like me, who didn't share your faith or your beliefs about marriage and everything."

I moved everything that was in my way on the bed, and sat in front of him, with my legs embracing him.

"So, you're saying that you were the one that fell in love with me first but you wouldn't have given the first step because it wasn't gonna work?" I asked.

"I would have if I had thought that there was a remote chance that you could have feelings for me. But you didn't. Believe me. That's what I'm saying. I had feelings first."

"That's bullshit. Why would I kiss you if I didn't have feelings for you?"

"Because you wanted to relieve your stress and you used me. I was just a sex toy for you," he said.

Now I was laughing out loud and he was making me a face.

"That was funny. You, the one that after Montana used me for sex even though you knew how I felt about it, accusing me of using you to relieve my stress. You can't be serious. You're messing with me," I said.

He shook his head.

"I've already said I'm sorry about that, but I've never stopped loving you," he said.

"And I did? I know I freaked out after our first time, but if it was about relieving stress I wouldn't have risked our friendship. That's something you can relate to. Here's another question for you. And I repeat, this isn't a competition. In your mind, you believe that you love me more than I love you?" I asked.

"Of course," he answered.

The coffee I was drinking ended up staining the sheets of the bed. It wasn't nice. I left the cup on the bedside table.

"No, you don't," I said.

"You asked me how I feel. You can't answer for me."

"I'm not answering for you, I'm just pointing out that your answer is bullshit."

Now he was laughing.

"Why are you trying to pick a fight this early in the morning?" he asked.

"Maybe I want a pillow fight. Just kidding. I'm just trying to follow you. How does it make sense in your mind that after you decided we should divorce you are the one that loves me more? I never wanted to divorce you. I fought for both of us and yet you think that you love me more? Please! Yes, maybe I left you twice to go abroad with the army, but I had invited you to come with me the second time and you didn't come."

"You were just fighting for the marriage, not for us. It's who you are. You believe marriage is forever. You wouldn't have left me no matter how unhappy you were. That's why it had to be me the one to call it."

"Wow…"

And it stopped being a friendly argument and it started hurting a little. Or maybe not just a little. Jackson was looking at me with worried eyes.

For a moment all you could hear was silence, the kind of silence that would make anyone uncomfortable. It was so uncomfortable that he suddenly he stopped caressing my arm. I didn't want him to stop. I took both of his hands and leant my forehead on his.

"You asked me why I was trying to pick a fight this early in the morning. I barely slept. I talked to Arizona yesterday. She made me think about us. I know you better than I know myself. You know me better than you know yourself. Yet when it comes to what the other feels about ourselves, we're clueless. It's kind of disappointing and yet kind of exciting that there is a part of me and a part of you, that the other can't figure out, that there are things we need to question. Even though Arizona could read you like an open book, I didn't imagine at all that you would give me these answers," I said.

"I didn't want to upset you."

I held his face with my hands.

"You didn't. I'm upset with myself. Do you believe I can actually always love you? When we eloped, I was about to marry Matthew even though I told you I wouldn't marry him had you given me a reason not to. If it wasn't for you I would have made a big mistake, the big mistake I made years later when you didn't stop me. I made the same mistake twice. And I don't know how to make you believe that this isn't me making the same mistake for a second time again. I love you. I've always loved you. And I probably always will. I was going to ask you to marry me, I have even asked Harriet for your hand. Don't laugh," I said.

His big smile was hiding his laugh.

"But …." I continued.

And his smile disappeared. That wasn't what I wanted at all. I held him tighter and gave him an eskimo kiss, just cause I was missing the smile in his face.

"It wouldn't be fair. I know you believe in God now. And maybe if you're here right now, you believe, just like I do, that we belong together. But even now that we're closer in our beliefs, I still believe that marriage is forever. I know I have divorced twice. I can't say I fighted at all for my second marriage, but I still believe in the concept. And if we marry again, maybe that would always make you doubt about why I'm fighting it to work for. So instead of asking you to marry me, I'll promise I won't ask you to marry me and you can keep these rings I bought and if you agree and if you feel we can make it, you can ask me to marry you in 10 years. Cause I believe we're gonna make it and I don't need to be married to fight for us. I'll fight for us until you believe you are the reason why. It will always be you. I promise I'll ask your feelings more often and whatever your answer is, I'll take your word for it. Maybe for now the promise we should make is to be more open about our feelings," I said.

"You bought rings?" he asked.

"They are on the way. Harriet picked them on Amazon, so maybe we should use them when they arrive or will you keep them save for 10 years?"

"I don't know what to say. She had everything planned. I'm betting on her mostly when I said we're going to work it out. I promise I will be more open about my feelings."

And we pinky promised it like two kids in love.

"What are we doing today?" Jackson asked.

"I want to try the Jacuzzi."

He put my arms around his neck and carried me on his back.

"You're getting heavier," he told me.

"Shut up! You're losing your strength, old man!"

I shouldn't have said that. He started walking backwards and threw me into the bed. He placed himself above me and he held my hands against the sheets with a smirking face.

"What did you say?" he asked.

I knew he was pretending to be serious, but I just couldn't.

"Nothing," I answered while laughing so hard.

"It's not funny," he said.

And he started tickling me. But as my hands were free I ticked him back until he finally stopped. We were both with our breathing and pulse racing. He was in front of me, and we were staring at each other, wanting exactly the same thing. We expended the rest of the day caressing each other on the bed, in the Jacuzzi and outdoors.

It was like a honeymoon, everything was perfect until the day after, when Jackson went almost naked to open the door thinking the rings had arrived. Only then, did I remember I hadn't told Jackson what else I did the night I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't stop him on time. He opened the door and closed it immediately. He stayed there like he was frozen. He came back to the couch like nothing had happened, except he was staring at me with a suspicious face. It was getting uncomfortable. I looked at the door and then back at him.

Is something bothering you, he asked me.

"Who is outside?" I asked.

"No one."

I stood up and while I was putting my clothes back on, I walked to the door but he stopped me.

"He traveled more than 800 miles. You just can't leave him outside," I said.

I dodged him and opened the door. Surprisingly he was still standing there. Without giving me time to do anything, Jackson went through us, got into the car and he drove away, leaving us alone.


	6. Chapter 6 – Family matters

**Chapter 6 – Family matters**

"I'd say good morning but I don't think it applies," Robert said.

"I'm sorry, Robert. I was supposed to talk to him. Come in, you don't have to wait outside."

He came in. I served him some coffee. We were on the deck looking at the lake.

"What am I supposed to wait for?" he asked.

"He's coming back."

"It's ok if he doesn't. I deserved it."

"He's coming back."

"Why are you so sure? Did he have some shopping to do?" he asked.

"Very funny. I'm sure he'll come back. I wouldn't have talked to you if I didn't trust that this was going to be fine. You who bailed on him are here. He won't bail on me and even less with you here to see him so it. The last thing he want is to be like you. I'm sure he's coming back."

I needed to reassure myself that it was going to be that way, so I kept repeating it.

"I'm sure he's coming back because I need him to come back. I'm sure he's coming back because I just can't be worried all the time about what will break us next. I'm sure he's coming back because I need to know that we will talk out everything we need to talk despite our doubts, despite our fears, without worrying about hurting ours feelings. I'm sure he's coming back because we had always find our way back together. I'm sure he's coming back because I can´t lose him one more time. He's coming back."

I saw that Robert was looking beyond myself.

"He came back," I said without looking back fearing to be wrong.

"I came back," Jackson said.

As soon as I heard his voice, tears starting coming down. I felt so relieved. He walked to me, cleaned my tears, kissed my forehead.

"So you can't lose me one more time?" he asked.

"Shut up! I've survived without you for years. I'd be perfectly fine. Robert, he's all yours. I'm leaving you to talk."

Jackson caught my hand.

"Wait a minute! Not so easy. This was your idea. You can't just leave. You at least should explain us why you did it," he said.

"I own you that, I guess. Have you ever stop yourself from chasing what you wanted because you thought you didn't deserve it or even because it was pointless? It had happened to me. And what was pointless was not even trying. Because I could have what I wanted. Hence, I did it for Robert, because even if he thinks he doesn't deserve a family after all these years, he should give it a try. I did it because I believe in second chances. I did it for you, because you should know you're loved and you should know you're worthy of all the love in the world. I did so you can have a chance at healing what have hurt all this time. Because just as you have been avoiding with all your heart to turn out as your dad, you have been preventing yourself from getting hurt. And maybe that was why you bailed on me, despite loving me, fearing I would bail on you first. So, maybe I did it for myself. Because I want you to trust I won't bail on you as much as I trust you won't bail on me, despite the fact that I have invited your father here. And I did it for Harriet because she wants to meet her grandpa and I want her to meet him while she still can. Because if we can heal the past for her, maybe her future can be brighter. Now that I have explained myself, you can excuse me. I'm going inside. You can take all the time you need, just make sure you have left all your shit out before coming in," I said.

And this time I actually made it inside. My stomach was making noises. I went to the kitchen thinking what we could have for lunch. There were some paper bags on the table. Jackson had bought Chinese food and a lot of fortune cookies. Maybe he wasn't that mad. Or maybe they were for fighting purposes. I ate a pair just in case.

I prepared the table and drank a cup of wine. I deserved it after all this tension. I started reading Arizona's project on OI research while waiting for them. Our project was starting to take shape. When I finished reading, I remembered how hungry I was. Before I could go check that they actually hadn't kill each other, they came in and I felt so relieved. Robert stayed for lunch and considering it all, it wasn't bad at all. Jackson invited him to go fishing next month. He would take Harriet with him. I thought it was a great idea.

After Robert was gone, I was left to deal with the aftermath of what I did with Jackson.

"Well, now we're alone…" Jackson said, while closing the door.

"I'm sorry I went behind your back. I was gonna tell you," I said.

"Aha."

He was looking at me with incriminatory eyes.

"Seriously," I said.

"Aha."

He picked me up and started carrying me like a potato bag.

"Put me down. I'm innocent of all charges. Please! Let's talk it out. I'm getting heavier, remember? You will hurt your back," I said.

"Are you saying again that I'm getting older?"

Fuck. I shouldn't had said that. Before he reached the stairs, I was saved by the bell. He put me down and we went to open the door. Finally, this time it was the mail carrier with a package. I couldn't wait to see what Harriet had chosen for us.


	7. Chapter 7 – Friendship, love and loyalty

**Chapter 7 – Friendship, love and loyalty**

"Shall we open it?" asked Jackson.

"Of course! She's going to kill us if we don't."

When he opened the package, there was a gift box and a card that said "With your two hands, give someone special your heart and crown it with your loyalty."

I loved it. At that moment, I knew exactly what kind of ring Harriet had chosen. The Claddagh rings. The heart stands for love, the crown for loyalty and the hands for friendship.

Jackson opened the gift boxes and there were two white gold Claddagh rings, one for Jackson and one for me. They were perfect.

"Harriet knew what she was doing. Do you know that depending on how you wear it, on which hand and whether the heart is facing inwards or outwards, it shows your marital status," I said.

"I didn't know."

I explained him the different meanings.

"So how are we going to wear them?" he asked.

"I don't know you, but my heart is taken. Also, I don't have a death wish."

"Our daughter is very clever."

"Of course, she is. She specifically asked for the size of the left ring finger."

"So, are we doing this?" he said as he took the smaller ring.

Everything felt like a dream, and I was tempted to pinch myself. There was nothing flamboyant about the moment. We were both wearing house clothes and I had lost my slippers while Jackson carried me, so I was barefoot. It was simple, homely and intimate. Somehow, that made it perfect for me.

"It's everything I wish," I said.

While he was looking into my eyes, with that face that made me felt the most wanted person in the world, he put the ring on my finger. I took his ring and did the same, looking into his eyes and saying "me and you".

"Me and you. Forever," he said.

I put my arms around his neck and he picked me up, while kissing me. Happiness and love were filling my heart and I prayed for that moment not to end, trying to record every second, every feeling and sensation in my mind. Because the only thing that was beyond time about this moment, was the love. Everything else could change or disappear.

While he was taking me upstairs, his phone started ringing.

"That must be Harriet," I said.

"I'm sure it's nothing important," he said while kissing my neck.

"Check your phone, please!" I said with my biggest smile.

He looked at me with a not so happy face.

"Answer your phone and I'll…" and I whispered him the rest into his ear.

He let go of me in a rush and pick his phone from his pocket.

"Hi, honey."

He turn the speaker on so that I could hear too. It was Harriet.

"I got a message that says the package has arrived. Is that true?"

"We're already using them. They are beautiful. Thank you," I said.

"I'd describe them as perfect," Jackson said.

"I know. Have you picked a day? A venue? Or do you trust me with everything?"

Jackson looked at me but we both were mute.

"Hello? Are you there?"

"We're here," I said.

"So, should I organize everything? I'm thinking in butterflies everywhere."

Again, silence was our answer.

"Signal is bad there? I'm not hearing you. Do you hear me?" Harriet asked.

"Talk to her!" Jackson gesticulated with his mouth. I shook my head. I wasn't telling her we weren't going to get married an even less considering the idea was mine.

"You can take care of everything," Jackson said while I was shaking my head in panic.

"Great! You don't have to worry about anything, I've your credit card information and I know what unlimited means. You're not gonna regret this! Bye-bye! I have a lot to do."

And she hung the phone before her mute parents could said a word. I could see in Jackson's face that he was already regretting it.

"Why did you answer the phone?" I asked.

He looked at me with angry eyes and once again picked me up and started carrying me like a potato bag.

"Put me down. I was just kidding! Please! Let's fix this before you need to ask for a mortgage credit," I said.

"You are not helping your case, you know?"

He was going upstairs and I worried about his back.

"Put me down! I'm behaving myself. I swear."

"That wasn't what you said before. I answered the phone like you requested. You're mine now."

This time I wasn't saved by the bell. Not that I needed to be saved, anyways.


	8. Chapter 8 – Little trouble

**Chapter 8 – Little trouble**

Another day passed by, and when Harriet called us, I couldn't help but ask, yet Harriet wouldn't tell us what she was planning for our wedding.

"Relax and leave everything in my hands. You have nothing to worry about," she repeated over the phone.

Catherine told us the exact same thing, that she was watching over her and that Harriet was consulting everything with her, so we didn't have to worry at all. They were returning soon to Seattle as Harriet took her role as wedding planner seriously. Jackson pointed out that she just enjoyed playing with our lives more than Disneyland.

Last days have been crazy, surprise after surprise. Then finally, some calm days followed.

We spent the next days enjoying ourselves. Although relaxing wasn't our strong point. Either when I woke up earlier or when Jackson was answering calls from Maggie about the clinic, I worked on the project with Arizona and our team. Everything was taking form. We had the name, web site, social media, bank account. We were starting a contest only for OI research, a campaign for awareness and donations, a database of OI patients and families. We were planning to share family's histories on our social media, and as if it wasn't already too much going on, Arizona was insisting that Samuel's and ours story should be the first to be told, especially considering that we were naming the foundation after him.

I was reluctant at first on sharing our story, feeling like we were no example of anything. But that wasn't the point. The point was the importance of telling stories that weren't usually heard. The point was giving a voice to all those families, making them known they are not alone, sharing the pain and all the ugliness, knowing there are people out there judging themselves and suffering for similar situations and that they could be able to learn from ours mistakes. I felt our story wasn't important but if one single person could relate, it would be worth to share it.

Jackson and Harriet were all in. I was really happy we were going to do this as a family. Once we were back at Seattle, the three of us were going to coordinate with the production team.

Although we had our iPhones always on, we were not using the TV, computer or PlayStation. In the house, there were many games like monopoly, twister, cards, pool table and all. On our last afternoon in Incline Village, the weather wasn't good so we had to stay inside.

We were playing pool, when Catherine called Jackson. He turned the speaker on thinking Harriet was gonna talk. And as soon as Catherine spoke, I could tell there was something odd about her voice.

"Honey. We're still in the hotel. I don't know if we are going to make it on time to board the plane. But don't worry! We're all fine. Are you watching TV?" she asked.

I turned the TV on, the second she said that.

"I just wanted to let you know what was happening, but I need to go; I'm of more use here on person than over the phone with you," she said and hung up, without really explaining what the hell was going on.

On the news, there was a headline that said "pregnant woman trapped in an elevator".

"A pregnant woman was trapped on an elevator because of an energy problem. The woman shout for help when her waters broke and her husband who was waiting for her downstairs, tried to open the elevator's door with the help of another guest. We have footage from a witness's cellphone that was taken some minutes ago," said the reporter.

I was about to change the channel but at that moment, the image showed how a man that must have been the husband opened the door with the help of …Richard?

"Is that Richard?" Jackson asked.

We saw how they hardly managed to open the doors just a few inches and just the upper side of the elevator was in sight. The blackout must had happened when the elevator was halfway between floors. Two hotel's employees then joined them, one pulling with Richard and the other pulling with the husband. The gap between the doors widened a little, but the pregnant woman must had been resting on the elevator's floor because she was nowhere to be seen. Either way, there was no way she could pass through that little space. The gap wasn't wide enough, not for any of them. You could see on their body language that they were at their limit, about to let go of the doors. We then recognized Catherine's voice, even if she was not in the picture. She seemed to be explaining the situation over the phone, because we did not hear anyone's answer. She must have been talking with a 911 operator. Suddenly something moved fast through the gap they were holding open.

I brought my hands to my chest. That curly hair. It could not be.

Suddenly, Catherine's voice filled the room. "Harriet!" she shouted. And the elevator's doors closed.


	9. Chapter 9 – Life is amazing

**Chapter 9 – Life is amazing**

As soon as the elevator's doors closed, leaving Harriet trapped inside with the pregnant woman, the image on the screen changed. For a moment I could swear, we forgot how to breathe. We were both standing in front of the TV with our hands intertwining.

"The footage we've just showed was from less than an hour ago," the reporter said while the camera pointed to fire trucks that were outside the hotel, "as we speak, the fire fighters are working inside, trying to release the parturient woman and the eight years old girl that are trapped inside the elevator."

Jackson's phone started ringing, breaking the spell that was keeping us paralyzed. It was Catherine.

"She's out and fine," she said with a broken voice. It wasn't often that I could hear my mother in law crying.

The nude I had on my chest, disappear as soon as I heard Harriet's voice. The released tension came in form of tears.

"I delivered a baby boy. The firefighters said I did a great work. Henry, the baby's dad, was so thankful for my help. I'm so happy and thankful. Life is amazing. Is this how you feel every day at work?" Harriet asked.

Though I couldn't see her, I could hear her smile.

"That's so true. Why don't you write down how you're feeling right now and we'll read it together once we're home. Your mother it's quite emotional right now. Happy tears and all. We love you. We're really thankful everything turned out well," said Jackson.

"Catherine's crying happy tears too. Nana you should smile. Happy tears, right?" Harriet asked Catherine while we were listening.

"I think my lifespan was shortened after this, we're leaving to the airport. See you soon," said Catherine.

We said goodbye to them and hung up the phone.

In the news, they were showing how the paramedics were transporting the newborn and the mother to the ambulance.

The reporter then asked the firefighter what he could tell about the incident and he explained that by the moment they arrived, the baby had already been born.

"The 8 years old girl, whose grandparents are surgeons and were helping from the other side of the doors, delivered a healthy baby boy," the firefighter said.

The reporters continued commenting the news after the interview was over and Jackson turned over the TV.

"I think I could use a drink," he said.

"Make them two," I said and we went to get those drinks.

While Jackson was pouring the drinks, I threw myself on the couch.

"What a day! I feel like I have been run over by a truck," I said.

"I know. I feel exhausted," Jackson said as he handed me my drink.

He moved my legs to sit on the couch, so I had to put my legs on his thighs.

"And to think that she wants us to give her a brother," Jackson said.

"I always wanted a big family, but in moments like this, she feels like more than enough."

"The girl is crazy… she reminds me of you," Jackson said.

I laughed.

"You are kidding, right? You are the one that likes to run into a fire… She's just like you," I said.

"Like you hadn't had scared the hell out of me before. You actually can't talk; I had to see you almost dying more than once."

"I really want to hug her tight and cover her with kisses. She scared us but I don't want us to make her feel guilty over that."

"Seriously? What happen with 'what would I have told Harriet if something happened to you?'?"

"You're an adult. She's a kid and I don't want her to get used to think that she can't make any decision that would worry their parents. In a future, she'll be making big decisions about what she wants to do with her life and I don't want her to be worrying over us, you know?"

"Yeah. You're saying that we should be the ones getting used to being worried about her cause maybe she will be the best S.W.A.T. officer, the best firefighter, the best soldier or the best astronaut or whatever."

"Exactly. She could be the next POTUS. I don't want us to limit her in her choices."

"You want her to know that we'll always support her."

"Yes!"

"So not only does she get to worry the hell out of us but we don't even get the chance to make her suffer for it."

"Right. It's a loss-loss situation for us."

"I think I need another drink," Jackson said.

"I go," I said as I went for the bottle and poured him his drink.

Then I sat back in my place in the couch.

"Are you drinking that?" he asked while looking at the bottle that was still in my hands.

"Don't worry. I won't ever again let you see me with a banana bag on my arm."

"The bad old days. I hated The Party," he said.

"I know. You rejected me," I said and laughed.

"You weren't exactly making smart decisions either."

"So, you were jealous?" I asked.

"I was bursting inside. I hated that intern."

"Vik."

"Don't mention him and neither the old man," he said and his face was a picture.

"I thought you didn't want me to call you that."

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking but I just couldn't help it.

"You really have a nerve," he said standing with a throw pillow in hand, ready to attack me at any given time.

The pillow fight was a great way of releasing the tensions of the day.

It was our last night in the house Harriet had picked for us. We were cuddling in bed, talking about her.

"Do you remember when she was this tiny and she didn't let us sleep?" I asked.

"Yeah. I miss her too. Tomorrow by this time, we'll together."

"She's a great kid. You're a great father."

"You're a great mother. Now that the tension has passed and we've forgotten how everything could change on a second, why don't we…" he said without ending the question.

"Why don't we what?"

"Why don't we start practicing to give her the brother or sister she wants?" he asked.

I laughed.

"You're crazy. I love you for that."

"So what do you say?" he said while pulling me even closer.

"You had me at 'why don't we,'" I said while touching his forehead with mine.


	10. Chapter 10 – Samuel

**Chapter 10 – Samuel**

Once we were in Seattle, we went to pick up Harriet who was with Catherine.

The first thing we both did was give Harriet a big hug. Harriet on the other hand, was only interested on checking we were wearing the rings she bought us.

We had a family dinner at Catherine's. And for the first time in a long while, I was actually interested in having a conversation with Maggie, after all she was Harriet's aunt. Maggie asked me to go whenever I could to visit the clinic. It was definitely a plan.

Harriet told us all about her adventure, while Catherine and Richard seemed to be suffering just remembering how she scared the hell out of them.

She told us about Emma, the mother of the baby boy.

"I told Emma how you gave birth to me on a kitchen's table. Emma said I have a hell of a mother and I told her she was a hell of a mother too."

"I bet you were able to tell her everything about you in so little time," Maggie said.

Harriet liked talking up a storm. She was the most sociable kid in her classroom.

"Yes! I told her everything about us, about all the surgeons in the family, about Samuel, about the spot we're going to make for the Foundation mom is working on, about the wedding I'm planning. Mm… What else?"

"Did you tell her we practice yoga?" I asked.

"Yes! Actually, she couldn't believe I could be still just breathing."

"I can't imagine why" Jackson said and I kicked him under the table. And he made me pay for it. He took the fact that I kicked him under the table as an invitation to do other things. The nerve he had. I couldn't wait to make him pay for that.

After dinner, we went to my house. Harriet had fallen asleep in the car so Jackson took her to her room.

"Are you staying for the night?" I asked.

"Just for tonight?" he asked while kissing me on the neck.

My phone started ringing. I tried to check it while he was still kissing me.

"I have to take it. It's Arizona. Maybe it's about tomorrow."

Tomorrow we were finally filming our story for the Foundation.

"Take it," he said but he wasn't stopping.

"Hello?" I said on the phone while asking Jackson in a low voice to stop.

"Are you watching the TV?" Arizona asked.

"I could swear Harriet is sleeping right now" I said.

Arizona laughed.

"It's not her. It's Emma. Just do me a favor and turn the TV on."

I did as she said. Emma was being interviewed. I couldn't believe they waited for her outside the hospital.

"As you can see we're both perfectly fine. Samuel and I were so lucky Harriet and her grandparents were there to assist us," Emma told the reporter.

"Did she say Samuel?" Jackson asked.

"My family is really so thankful. Harriet didn't have a chance to meet his brother, because he died barely after he was born. He had Osteogenesis imperfecta Type II. I didn't know the disease until Harriet mentioned it. I had to google it. Harriet's mother has recently started a Foundation with the help of friends and family. The Samuel Norbert Avery Foundation whose aim is helping those who had the disease and their families. Everyone can check out more on how to help by visiting their website. My family and I have already made a donation."

"Is it a coincidence that your baby is also named Samuel?" the reporter asked.

"I don't believe in coincides. My husband and I were considering three names for our baby. One of the names was Samuel. When Harriet told me about her brother, I knew that was it. His life was so short but we can still feel the impact it had. As a mother, I can't even imagine the pain they went through. They found a meaning to all that suffering. Their experience can help so much people. I'm sure of it. Their life is literally a message of hope. And I know thanks to Harriet that a video of her family is going to appear soon on the Foundation's social media. I know we can all learn something from their experience."

Jackson was holding my hand. We were both with tears in our eyes.

After the interview was over, they returned to the studio. They showed photos of Catherine, of Jackson and me. They mentioned a little of our careers, Catherine's Foundation, Jackson's awards, my participation in other projects. They mentioned the Foundation's website so that everyone could visit it. They also mentioned how many followers we had on Instagram before Emma's interview and they showed how it was increasing.

"I think Harriet and Emma are your new community managers," he said.

"Once Harriet sees this, she's never going to stop talking about it."

"I pity her teacher and her classmates once she's back at school and someone asks what they did on their holidays."

"Funny, cause there's still so much she can do. Would you like some wine? I think tomorrow is going to be a long day."


	11. Chapter 11 – The queen of surprises

**Chapter 11 – The queen of surprises**

The next day, I woke up in my bed, with Jackson next to me. It was somewhat nostalgic because it used to be that way, long ago. The bed I used to avoid, the house I used to avoid, started to feel comfy, like somehow they had a purpose, an use.

It wasn't at all how I imagined my morning. Not because of Jackson being next to me, that was supposed to happen considering the night before. It was the rest of the morning that took me by surprise. This was the day we were recording the spot for Samuel's foundation, but that was scheduled after lunchtime. When we were having breakfast, Arizona called and told me she was at the door. I wasn't following her.

"Which door?" I asked.

"Your door. Open!" Arizona said as she started knocking.

I said goodbye to my free morning, as I let Arizona in. She spent all morning bossing us around. She brought fancy clothes for me and for Jackson. It was like Arizona thought she was our Fairy Godmother and Jackson and I were Cinderella. Maybe the fact that Emma and Harriet had advertised our foundation made her believe that we were some kind of stars. She was really being over the top. We had our make-up and hair done. It felt like we were filming our very own movie.

Then she asked Jackson to leave and get dressed in my room. She had brought a tuxedo for him, like he would need one. Of course, in my house he didn't have any.

Harriet and Arizona stayed with me downstairs, as we were trying the clothes she had brought for us. Harriet and I had two dresses each, and their colors were matching. As it was to be expected, Harriet picked not only her dress but also mine.

"Try this one first," Harriet said and I felt like a toy.

I tried the sleeveless violet grey dress. It had a deep v-neck and matching back, a sequin-covered bodice, a frothy tulle and a grosgrain ribbon defining the waist. It was beautiful. Harriet was also trying her violet grey dress.

Once we were both with our dresses on, Harriet looked at me really excited.

"That's the one, mom! You don't need to try the other."

"Of course, you love sequin-covered things. I don't think this is suited for what we're doing. It's a little too much."

Harriet was making her angry face.

"But I love how you look and I'd love to be matching with you," I said.

Harriet smiled.

"Great choice!" Harriet said and she gave me a hug, "You know what you should wear on your feet, right?"

"My nude high heels?"

"Yes! I'm going for them," Harriet said as she went to my room.

"You look lovely," Arizona said.

"It kind of scares me, what she'll choose for our wedding if she thinks this is a suitable dress for the spot we're making."

"I think it really suits you. Even the name," Arizona said.

"The name?" I asked.

"Avery dress," Arizona said, "Don't bite your lips! You'll ruin your make-up!"

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, it truly fits you. But let's change the subject so you can leave your lips alone."

Jackson came downstairs with Harriet and my shoes. He missed a step and almost fell. Arizona couldn't help laughing.

"I did a pretty good job, didn't I?" Arizona said.

Jackson was staring at me. That way he had of staring at me that made me lose my mind. I could literally feel we were alone in the room. And to be fair, it wasn't just the way he was looking at me, it was his looks. He looked so hot in a tuxedo.

"Mom! Yours shoes! We're going to be late," Harriet told me.

"Let's get going," Jackson said once I had my shoes on.

Jackson drove to the venue where the filming was taking place. On the way, I made him stop. I was really hungry, I was craving for French fries. We stopped and bought some.

Once we arrived, I understood why we were dressed so elegant. It was a restored old house with high ceilings, which I loved. There were violet flowers in every vase.

"We should have done this in our house. I don't want to know how much locating this place costs."

"Actually, Catherine knows the owner. We didn't pay for it," Arizona said.

The crew that was in charge of filming our spot was already there. Arizona introduced them to us. We sat on the designated spot for us.

"Maybe I should have asked sooner but are we answering some questions or we just start talking to the camera?" I asked.

"I'm going to make the questions, that's why I'm here," Arizona said.

"I love you for being here," I said while giving her a hug.

"Don't make me emotional! We haven't even started yet!"

Once the camera started filming, Arizona introduced herself, the foundation and us. She was already with teary eyes while saying we were friends and she hadn't even started speaking about Samuel. She was making me emotional too. I started doubting we could make this through.

"Why don't you start telling us about Samuel?"

"Samuel Norbert Avery is our first son. When she told me about the pregnancy, we were kind of arguing how we should raise our kids," Jackson said.

"Let me give you a little context. Our timing was always kind of fast and that made it really intense between us. Sometimes I think that not even we believed we could pull this through. So we acted like we were racing against the clock, like what we had could explode anytime soon, leaving us empty. So, like he said, before agreeing on how we would raise our kids, we were expecting Samuel. Before dating, we were married. Long before our first kiss, we were already in love. Before being best friends, we were living together," I said.

"Your love story is epic. Why wouldn't you two believe you could pull it through?" Arizona asked.

I laughed.

"Our story isn't epic," I said shaking my head.

"We eloped from your wedding. That was kind of epic," Jackson said.

"That's what I'm saying. It wasn't kind of epic. It was EPIC. I can literally quote Jackson. _Even the things I don't like, I love_ ," Arizona said trying to mimic Jackson's voice.

" _I love you. I always have. I love everything about you - even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think that you love me, too. Do you_?" Jackson said looking at me, and then he looked back to Arizona and said, "That's how you do it."

"That's how you do it when you don't have your guts on your throat? Is that the right expression?" I asked while laughing just a little.

"I'm sure that's not the expression," he said and then he gave me a soft kiss.

"We didn't think we would make it because we were so different. He was Richie Rich, Pretty Boy, Dr. Fancy pants. He was and still is surgical royalty, and handsome. He was kind of a playboy and he didn't believe in God."

"On the other hand we had," Jackson said pointing at me with both his hands, "Ugly duckling, Virgin Mary, The Dud. She believed in God, in marriage for life and she didn't believe in premarital sex. She was also raised on a farm," he said.

"Don't forget I was let go two times from my job," I added.

"So we can say that you are not the same Jackson and April?" Arizona asked.

"No, we are not that people anymore. Because that's the idea of life, learn and change. I remember when we met on our first day as interns. Looking back at that day, where we are right now, it has nothing to do with what we expected back then," I said.

"You shared a life together," Arizona said.

"Yes, she was and still is my favorite person, my best friend," Jackson said.

"We knew everything about each other. I think he knows me better than I know myself. I have more faith on him than he has on himself. And he has more faith on me than I have on myself. Back then, it was also that way. Besides our love for each other, everything we shared made us stronger," I said.

"We had stupid problems but the pregnancy made the underlying problems that we were avoiding come out. We were working on them, believing for once that we were good at this marriage thing. We were having a baby. Everything was fine. We had our happy bubble. And then the OI type II diagnosis..." Jackson said.

"How did your life change after the diagnosis?" Arizona asked.

"It killed us. I didn't believe in God back them. So from my point of view, it made even less sense, that she would believe in a God that would do this to her who had faith and loved Him. It was hard, seeing her broken, while I was trying to be strong. Samuel's bones were already breaking in the womb so we decided our baby's name and had Dr. Nicole Herman induce labor at 24 weeks. Samuel Norbert Avery was born, baptized and hold in our hands until he died. His life was so short. We survived to Samuel's death but in a way, we died with him that day. No parent is ready to go through that. No matter how many people we had lost on our personal life, no matter how much patients we lost on our jobs, no matter how much knowledge you have about life, no matter how much faith you have in the afterlife, this kind of experience is gonna break you," Jackson explained.

"It's supposed to break you. I used to feel guilty of how I was feeling, when the truth is I shouldn't have. I left him alone twice to go to the warzone with the Army. I wasn't the same when I came back, both times. I grew a lot there, and for the first time since our relationship started, I did it away from him. He didn't witness a period of my life and I didn't witness a period of his life. For a period, not only we were apart, but we weren't sharing everything. You can't be exactly there for the other person not only because you're not seeing each other face to face, or because you can't hug each other but because the little time we could actually speak to each other felt like the most fragile of things. Because if one of us said something wrong, something hurtful, something deep, we weren't sure of when or if we could continue that conversation later and you could have leave the person you loved on the other side of the world hurting alone without being able to know how he was or how to help. So it was lonely," I said.

"So why did you leave?" Arizona asked.

"Because I didn't want to face my pain. And my job reminded me of it. My husband reminded me of it. So I did what I thought I needed to do to heal. Except that wasn't healing. It's like inside our minds there's a box where we put everything that could hurt us and we make sure not to get in touch with that box. Once the pain is isolated, you tell yourself that you're okay, that everything is fine and you continue working. But that box you're avoiding has something inside that while you're not watching, starts growing. So one day, without any notice, the box breaks from the inside out. And then it hurts you deeply. What I'm trying to say is we didn't grieve Samuel properly. Surviving the pain is easy, overcoming it, is not. You need to forgive yourself, God and the Universe to do it. When my box broke, I had a crisis of faith, but that was later," I said.

"Once she was back definitely, it was like starting anew. We couldn't start from where we were when she left, that was already in the past. We weren't the same people. We started breaking apart, being hurtful to one another and we didn't know how to make it stop. Because the true was, we never stopped loving each other," Jackson said.

"Denial is a way of protecting oneself, and usually we're very good at it. Denial makes you think you can go back and be the same person, have the same marriage, and live your life as if nothing had happened. But that's impossible as Jackson said. We divorced when I was already pregnant with Harriet. I didn't tell him and that just made it worse when he finally heard the news. We forgot about the pain focusing on other things like work, my pregnancy, and our fights," I said.

"Harriet, do you want to tell us about your birth?" Arizona asked.

"Yes! On the day of uncle Owen and aunt Amelia's wedding, my mom who has a thing for ruining weddings now that I think about it, forgot the rings. She was Owen's best man. Uncle Ben, who is also my godfather, was with mom at Meredith's house helping finding the rings. Mom went into labor and when Ben checked on her, the cord had no pulse, which meant I was dying. Ben had to perform a crash C-section to save me. He did it on Meredith's kitchen table, with a kitchen knife and with no anesthetic. I was born that way. The ambulance arrived and took us to the hospital, where dad was waiting for us. Ugly duckling, Virgin Mary, The Dud, I don't know either. I know I have the strongest mother in the world," Harriet said.

"I know. That's the way I introduced my best friend," Arizona said with a sweet smile on her face, "Although I already know the answer, did Harriet's birth bring you back together?" she asked.

"I think we can say the answer is yes," I said looking at Harriet, "but it took us eight years."

"After Harriet's birth, once they were both out of the hospital, before we could fix our relationship, we started living together again. We get used to us once again but somewhere along the way, it started to be complicated and confusing, and April moved out. We started moving on in different ways and living apart, until just recently, when Harriet, with the help of family and friends, started complotting to reunite us and it actually worked. Thank you, darling," Jackson said looking at Harriet.

"I have two more questions for you two and one for Harriet. I'll start with you two. First question: What did you learn from your experience losing Samuel to OI type II?"

"I think we learned different things along the way. The first thing I think you learn, is that you can survive. But surviving means adapting and that means you're not the same anymore. So you need to accept and come to terms with the fact that there's nothing you can do that can restore you to your former self. You may not like who you had become but that isn't either who you're going to be the rest of your life. So became your better self. You broke yourself in a million pieces, but you're not the broken pieces, you're the one looking at the pieces. And when you look at the pieces of who you had been until that point of your life, you start building yourself again. You keep only what is dear, what makes you the best version of yourself and you let go of a lot of pieces, some that you didn't even remember you were carrying, because you don't need them anymore, because it's not who you want to be anymore. You need to keep the love, all the things that you're grateful for and you need to let go of the guilt, the shame, the doubts. What I know I did wrong looking back, was avoiding the pain. You think that's the way to protect yourself, but that's just like choosing to look the other way when your house is burning because you can't do anything about it. I learned a lot from a patient when I was having my crisis of faith. He was a rabbi called Eli who wanted to help me even when he was dying. He told me that if you can take away 1/60th of someone's pain, that's goodness. That's God. But _you can't take away a 60th of something if you don't know what it is_. So you need to face your pain, to know your pain. Because, ultimately it is yours. You can hide it in a box like I did, but you'll be only delaying the inevitable. So face it, watch it grow, let it hurt. You need to go through the pain, to leave it behind. And on the other side, a better version of you is waiting," I said.

"Hearing her explaining what happens when we avoid pain, reminded me of the quote _what you resist not only persists, but will grow in size_. One of the things I learnt from her was to surrender. I believe in God thanks to her. She introduced Him in my life. Her crisis of faith made her faith stronger than ever. The truth is the only way to have faith in God in this world full of injustice and pain, is to surrender. Because you don't get to know why. You shouldn't ask why this happened to me, that will only make the pain persist. Whatever life brings or takes away from you, accept it without questioning it. You can't only have faith when everything is going well in your life," Jackson said.

"Eli told me _Who the hell are you to know why? Who are you to know why some people live and some people die?_ When Jackson said surrender, he meant offering no resistance to life, no resistance to what already is. He didn't mean it in a negative way. Surrender doesn't mean doing nothing or giving up. Something else I learned from Eli was the concept of Tikkun olam. He told me _Tikkun olam means that the world is full of brokenness and it's our job to put it back together again_. _It assumes that the world is broken and in need and in pain. And it's our job to fix it_." I said.

"Samuel Norbert Avery Foundation is one way we're trying to fix it while giving a meaning to our son's life," Jackson said.

"You two are really beautiful people. I'm thankful for having you in my life," Arizona said, "I heard Harriet is your wedding planner. Last time you were married, you subconsciously couldn't believe you were going to pull it through. My last question for you two: Do you believe this marriage will have what it needs to last, whether in good fortune or in adversity? Do you believe this time it will be different?" Arizona asked.

"Jackson have already said that I was someone who believed in marriage for life. The joke was on me, because I've divorced twice. The truth is I did it for life, the first time we married. When I said in a way we didn't believe we could pull it through, I meant that we were rushing to seize everything good because we were expecting difficulties. Because keeping it real, difficulties were to be expected considering everything we told you about our differences and about how we kind of were skipping stages. Whether we can make it this time or not, I think I just don't care. I can say that we're not the same. I can say this time we are not alone in this, we have a tribe that want us to make it, that believes we can make it. But I can also said that I hope this time I will be able to surrender in the way I explained before. Not giving up. Just trusting that I can give a meaning to my life no matter the things I cannot control," I said.

"What she is trying to say is it's us. Of course it's gonna work, no matter what, but there's no such thing as a happy ending in real life. Nobody knows what's going to happen and that shouldn't be something to worry about. We're happy now. I always have love her and I always will. And I know it's the same for her. Whatever happens to our hypothetical marriage, our love is forever," Jackson said.

"Great answer! Now last question to the wedding planner. Your father just said and I quote _hypothetical marriage_. Harriet dear, what do you think about that? What are you planning?"

"It's not hypothetical anymore. It's happening right know. You two should give me your rings, I'm the ring bearer. After all I've chosen them, haven't I?"

Arizona and Harriet stood up and I looked at Jackson.

"Do you understand what is she talking about?" I asked.

"I have no clue."

Harriet appeared in front of us with a pillow for the rings.

"Leave the rings to me, so the wedding can begin," Harriet said with a big smile on her face. You could actually see in her face that she was over the moon about her part in all of this. The queen of surprises had played us one more time.


	12. Chapter 12 – Epilogue

**Chapter 12 – Epilogue**

The surprise was even bigger when my father came in. He was going to walk me down the aisle.

"Where were you hiding?" I asked him.

"Where Harriet told me to. She's kind of bossy, like someone I know", he said. Harriet took Jackson and Arizona so that they could take their spot.

Dad took a bouquet from one of the vases and gave it to me. Offering his arm to link with mine, he said, "I think it's our turn."

It was happening so fast. Finally, when we went out, I saw the garden where the wedding was taking place. Everything was so beautiful arranged everyone I loved was there smiling and making me smile. And then, I saw him, waiting for me on the other side of the aisle. This was really happening. Married for a second time. Again with little or no planning. Always doing everything fast. But looking right into his eyes, there was no space for regrets in my mind. Everything that mattered was right in front of me.

The ceremony was simple and short. Harriet brought the rings to us and I was with tears in my eyes. I loved the family we had formed. When we said I do, the guests released butterflies. I didn't remember telling Harriet about that silly wish, but somehow it was a perfect moment. The crew filming the spot filmed the wedding. So we had everything recorded, including our kiss.

Catherine didn't only pay for the wedding. We had our honeymoon or maybe I should call it a family trip to Cuba. It was great, we shared a lot of family time but also we had time to be alone, just the two of us, since Richard and Catherine took care of Harriet most of the time.

…

Nine months had passed since we recorded the spot for Samuel's foundation. Everything was going great. I had finally settled. Jackson moved with us and my house actually started feeling like a home. We adopted a dog. Harriet named it Candy. I didn't need any excuse to leave, I was truly happy. The foundation head courts were at New York, near the Robbins-Herman Center for Women's Health. I did a lot of home office, but every opportunity I had, I used it to visit Arizona and family. Sometimes I travelled for events for Samuel's foundation or for doing surgeries for the network of trauma surgeons. Jackson continued working at GSM and at his clinic. I also started working at his clinic. Maggie and I were friends.

We had told more stories from other families with OI. A week after our wedding, the edited spots of our family were uploaded. And we were trending topic. We had so many views and likes. I actually didn't give it a lot of attention but people started recognizing us and it was kind of weird. Harriet was even invited to the Ellen Show. According to Arizona, we had reached 35 M on YouTube this past week. It was kind of insane. We even had a ship name.

I had read Harriet a bedtime story and she was already sleeping. I was finishing arranging something with Arizona for the foundation when Jackson came home after his shift at GSM.

"I'm home, sweetheart!"

"I'll work on that and call you later. See ya!" I told Arizona over the phone.

Jackson left his things, kissed me and went for some nachos. While he did that, I left my slippers on the floor and lay on the couch. When Jackson came he sat and placed my head on his thighs. He places the bowl of nachos on my belly.

"You understand that my belly is not a table, do you?" I asked him.

"I just thought you would want to dip your toe on those nachos."

"That won't ever get old, right?"

"It won't. I'll make them keep it for the movie."

"What movie?"

"My patient today was a producer. He recognized me and told me he's interested in making a story about our story."

I laughed and asked him "What did you answer?"

"I told him I didn't think our story could be made into a movie and he answered _You're right. We should make two. One ending with the divorce and the sequel starting with your reconciliation._ "

"That's crazy. If he had told you about a third installment, I'd have consider it. Have you thought who should play my part?"

"That's what you're doing, thinking in actors hot enough to play your husband?"

"Well, you'd better not be thinking in hot red headed women right now."

"The only hot red headed woman I think about is here," he said as he gave me a soft kiss and caressed my belly. And as soon as he did, our baby starting moving inside.

"She's strong as you," Jackson said.

"She? We don't know yet. The important thing is the baby is healthy."

"And a normal birth, if that's not too much to ask. Also I'd like to be there this time," he said.

"Well, you're here now" I said.

"What are you saying?" he asked.

"I just ruined the couch. My water broke," I said.

And for a moment he froze.

"That's good. We're having a normal birth and you're here," I said.

He was mute so while shaking his shoulder, I said, "It's all good, Jackman. Relax. I'm taking a shower while you wake Harriet and check that we have everything in the hospital bag, ok?"

Once I came back to the living room, Jackson was with Harriet checking the content of the bag. I was wearing a robe and my hair was still wet. When Jackson looked at me, he asked worried "Do you need any help getting ready?"

"I think I'm more than ready."

"Oh my God!" Harriet said, "Is it time?"

"It's time," I said.

"How do I help?" she asked.

"Don't let your father freak out," I said.

"Very funny," Jackson said and we all laughed.

When Jackson checked, the baby was already crowning. With his and Harriet's help, I delivered a healthy baby boy. It was very emotional, giving birth at our house with my family. When Jackson placed the baby on my chest, I couldn't believe all the love I was feeling. The look on Jackson's eyes while looking at us was heartwarming. Harriet caressed the baby's hand and he held her finger.

"We should name him. I like Martin", she said.

"Martin Kepner-Avery. I like it," I said.

"We should take Martin to the hospital", Jackson said.

I was the happiest person in the world. And no matter what life could throw at us, I knew we could face anything together.


End file.
